But I Didn’t Say THAT! I Didn’t Even Think It.
Lets’ say there is an area of conflict in your marriage, How do you handle it?
Conflict will always exist in a marriage to some extent. It may be about trust issues, finances, kids, or sex. The list could go onto infinity. Communication is of the highest priority.
OUCH! I’m not the talker. I don’t want to rock the boat and start a category 5 storm. But most of the time I am the violator to be confronted.
Have I ever told you I am married to the prototype for the “Stepford” wives? She is Awesome! I mean she is and has been a prime example of the woman in Proverbs 31.
Back to the subject now.
When conflict arises and it happens to be an important one, I will try to say or explain my point and it is understood in a different context completely. Marye has informed me that I might say “this”, but in between the lines I have actually meant “this, that and several other things.”
This might escalate the conflict to where I have nothing else to say and I will clam up. And we go through a period of limp kisses and aversion. Not a good thing. I try to explain I can’t even understand the theory of talking between the lines. I guess it is like reading between the lines and picking up a sub plot. Still that is not me. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.
Thankfully, we aren’t the neighbor’s who are at each other’s throats. We are not the dramatic screamers and yellers. Marye doesn’t throw things and we don’t get physically or verbally abusive.
This is why our oldest two kids Erin & Chris have said they don’t think they can ever have a marriage like ours. Then we kind of laugh at them. We try to tell them we have had to work to have this good of a marriage. Sometimes it has been grueling, but you know the “D” word is not in our vocabulary. With anything worth having you have to work to achieve a great marriage. And when we think things in our marriage couldn’t be better, Marye analyzes things and realizes another area of our marriage needs finer tuning.
Feel free to leave any questions comments or insults…. :D
Blessings,
Image:Morguefile
Tags: communications in marriages, making marriage better, marital conflict, reading between the linesPOSTED IN: Communication
6 opinions for But I Didn’t Say THAT! I Didn’t Even Think It.
Marye Audet
Oct 10, 2008 at 9:41 am
So..what exactly are you trying to say, Audet? Are you saying that i do like to rock the boat? That I instigate conflict? Huh?
and what do you mean I fine tune things? What’s is THAT supposed to mean, huh?
Are you saying that I am too picky?
:D
Marc Audet
Oct 10, 2008 at 10:32 am
Yes
&
Yes
You will confront an issue/ problem like a pit bull with lipstick on.
Even though our marriage is fantabulous, you always strive for excellence in all that we do. You are always looking for ways to make our marriage even (more) better.
Right?
Marye Audet
Oct 10, 2008 at 10:35 am
A pitbull with lipstick? Geez..
you called me MacArthur this morning…and now a pit bull..and I don;t even wear lipstick much….
I think the magic is gone.
;D
Christina
Oct 10, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Communication is always key in trying to resolve marital conflicts, but sometimes the partner refuses to communicate! In that case it’s better to stand back and let the pressure out of the situation for awhile and approach it later, when feelings are less heated or intense.
Marc Audet
Oct 11, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Excellent Christina,
That’s why I’m not responding to Marye’s last comment. :)
Seriously… That is a good point Christina. A response may only escalate the the robustness of the conflict.
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