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Why Sarah Palin is Perfect for the Job

by Marye Audet on September 4th, 2008

Normally you will see that I stay shy of politics.  It is an area I don’t normally choose to make an issue of.  Allow me this one small toe in the water of the political jungle.

Sarah Palin has five kids. O.k…so she has three less than me but the principle is the same. When a woman has five kids there should be no question of her ability to handle foreign diplomacy issues or anything else that current events can throw at her.

Let me tell you about moms of many children.

We are bomb-proof. There is nothing that anyone can pull that we haven’t heard or seen before. We have butterflied gushing head wounds, admired fresh squirrel skins (skinned from a road kill squirrel, o.k.?), put up with fish bait in the freezer, and smiled over dinner at girlfriends/boyfriends with odd piercings.   There is no group of people in the world that can bother you culturally after that.  I am pretty confident that she could eat monkey brains out of a skull while chatting with a bare breasted native of somewhere and not bat an eyelash.

We cannot be lulled into a false sense of security because we are constantly looking for the angle, and waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Lying? Puh-LEEZ we have dealt with that.

“No mom, I have no idea how that song got on my Zen.  I did not do it!”

Confrontation? We have done it.  Who else finds the Playboy magazine tucked up inside a craftily slit mattress?  Face it.  No one gets away with anything. And we aren’t afraid to go Marine Corps Drill Instructor on people either. “Was that an excuse I heard, Maggot?”

Budget? C’mon.  Do the math.  Do you know how much it costs me to buy groceries for 8 people?  Mom’s with many kids have been juggling finances and figuring out how to make something from nothing for eons.  She put the freakin’ state plane on eBay for goodness sakes!

Mediation? Have you ever had to figure out who’s day it was for the dishes when several children were involved?  Have you ever had to diffuse a dinner time duel between a hormonal adolescent female and several testosterone filled male siblings? Moms with alot of kids eat, sleep, and breathe mediation.

We cannot be intimidated.  Just try it.  Surly teenagers have tried to stare us down, planned parenthood advocates have attempted to shame us for our CHOICE to have more than 2.2 children…wehave had rude comments made to us by complete strangers about the size of our families.  Some good old boy politician doesn’t have a chance no matter what party he is involved with.

Give a speech while in labor? Shoot, that’s par for the course.  I hosted a kids party through-out my sixth labor.  Called the midwife at the end of the party and headed up stairs to have the baby. When you have a lot of kids that just is what it is..You do what needs to be done.  I know women who have finished up their grocery shopping while in the last stages of labor. ..when you have had several kids labor stops being a special event and becomes one more thing on the to- do  list.

Diplomatic relations.  Now there is a good one.  Again.  The woman is juggling five children.  Foreign governments are going to be a piece of cake.

Multi-tasking? When you have alot of kids you know what is going on with all of them all of the time.  You are used to keeping track of large numbers of people.

We have sat frozen at sports events when we would have rather been home watching The Notebook. There is no way that she is going to doze off no matter how long and boring the meeting is.

Come on.  This woman is not one of your East Coast ivory tower, Ivy League Debutantes.  She is real. She has dealt with it, experienced it, lived an breathed it.  She can hold a baby on one hip, counsel a love-lorn teen, help a sixth grader with math homework and discuss a new foreign relations policy with the King of Siam all at the same time.  Moms with alot of kids are like that.

After 5 kids worth of poopy diapers I am pretty sure she can handle the crap in Washington…and I, for one, hope she gets the chance.

Moms with alot of kids know how to pray.  And I am ready for someone in Washington that knows how to do that.

Image: Official Portrait, State of Alaska

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POSTED IN: General