Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

I want it to matter to you that it matters to me…

by Kerri on June 30th, 2008

I’m sure I’m not the only spouse to have ever uttered these words. It starts with something bothering me to the point of being distraught or anxious. Something that I just can’t put out of my head. Something that I really wish I could change or prevent.

And something that means virtually nothing to Bald Man.

The “discussion” (could liberally be referred to as an argument) goes on until I’m just frustrated to the core. And while some might think that it’s because I haven’t won Bald Man to my side of the argument (though that would feel good once in awhile), that’s not my ultimate goal. I find the thing that frustrates me most is not that he doesn’t get why I’m upset, it’s that he’s seemingly not upset that I’m bothered.

And that’s probably true. He’s not upset that I’m bothered. But, to me, that translates into, “I don’t care. It doesn’t matter that you’re upset.”

He’s says that’s not the case. He says it does matter and that he does care. (Right before he gives me the look that says, “I still have no idea why you’re going on about this like you are.) I believe him, because I trust him. But it still never feels right. I still feel like I’m venting to someone who thinks I’m completely off my rocker for no good reason.

It’d be easier if he’d just agree with me in the first place and we could just move on. ;)

Did this make sense to anyone else? Anyone feeling me here?

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