Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

My Spouse Gets On My Nerves!

by Bald Man on May 15th, 2008

Right then… I think it’s been awhile since Kerri and I have had a good gripe, so I figure it’s time. Despite all the wonderful things we say each other (Her gamer post was really sweet.), there are in fact a few things that each of us do to get on the other’s nerves. For example:

• I never put the garlic press back in the right kitchen drawer.
• I have a stable of lame jokes that are told and re-told and re-re-told.
• Same for a few movie lines that really bug Kerri. (Fava beans, anyone?)
• I have a one track mind and easily zone out, like when the kids when are trying to get my attention: “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy? Daddy! Daa–aa–dddeee!”

Those things are relatively minor, though and can usually be overlooked. Only when there is other stress going on do they really grate on her.

But there is one thing that rarely fails to provoke some sort of reaction, my inability to leave work at the end of the day. I swear it’s not intentional. When I Skype her and say I’m leaving in 5-10, I really do plan on leaving in 5-10. More often than not, however 5-10 is more like 20-30, and that is more than enough time for dinner to be past prime. Of course, that means I actually remembered to tell her I’m planning on leaving. Usually she’s the one asking me, “When are you coming home?” It’s not so much that she cares; she just wants to be able to make a plan. I’ve gone so far as to set an alarm on Outlook that reminds me to go home, but that has had limited impact.

I’m not like this on purpose. I want to change; I’m just not doing a very good job of it. Anymore, Kerri seems to have accepted it for what it is. I think I get more pity than anger. :) I think she tends to view things with a broader perspective, too. Sure, I’m not perfect; but things could be a lot worse. Being unable to leave work is probably better than being unemployed, for example.

So what’s my point? None really. Occasionally Kerri and I voice our pet peeves to one another. Rarely does anything surprise us, but it is still useful to get things out in the open occasionally. It’s almost funny when we talk. We are both so aware of our own short-comings, we spend as much time talking about how silly we feel for being annoyed by this or that, because we know the ways we fall short ourselves.

Perhaps that’s the point: That people are people, and ain’t none of us perfect. When we remember that and remain committed to one another in love, we can talk about these kinds of things, whether big or small. And in talking about them, we make is possible to live with them and maybe even work through them.

Oh, and if you want the scoop on Kerri, you’ll have to ask her. I’m WAY too much of a gentleman. :)

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POSTED IN: Pontification