Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

Clearing a Cloudy Marriage

by Bald Man on January 23rd, 2008

I came across a post here, that included a bit of advice for starting the evening off well after a rough day at work. It has me thinking about our own days. I wouldn’t dare say that I’m the only one who works in our home - I’m not THAT dumb - so I’ll clarify and say that I’m the only one who works outside the home. I have the traditional “bring-home-the-bacon” career (mmmm… bacon) and Kerri stays home to school and care for the kids.

Both of us work hard, and there have been many times when one or both of us are fried come six o’clock. Those times when we carry the work day into the evening with us invariably make for less than pleasant nights. Not only are we short with the kids, we wind up being short with each other, too. And nothing sabotages a team’s success like a fight within the ranks.

I have the built-in advantage of a commute, 10 or 15 minutes of privacy to decompress and leave the workday behind. That is one (of several) reasons why I take the slightly longer route through town instead of the highway. The slower pace and vastly superior scenery (I get to drive past a park, next to the river, and by my alma mater.) are much more relaxing than speeding down the highway with all the other rush hour traffic.

Before we had kids, Kerri had her own commute, too. Nowadays, the walk from the dining room to the kitchen doesn’t offer much in the way of time to decompress. So, what we have done when needed is sent Kerri to her room for a bit when I get home. It’s not every night, but sometimes 20 minutes with a crossword puzzle or novel gives her a chance to recapture her sanity after a hectic day.

How do you let go of the work day and prepare for an evening together?

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POSTED IN: Resolving Conflict