Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

Marriage Fitness 6

by Bald Man on November 7th, 2007

Back from the brief hiatus to continue our review of Marriage Fitness. We’re up to Step #3 - Move from Me to We. No summary equation this time, but the crux of the step is making choices to grow together.

I think this step will fly in the face of our modern individualism. Exercises include letting go of activities that you do on your own and taking an interest in an activity that your spouse previously did without you. The chapter calls us to the reality that we must at times lay down our own freedom and independence in order to pick up the interdependence of marriage. I may be involved in good things, but it may be necessary to lay those things down in order to pick up better things. “Good” and “better” are evaluated in terms of how well they support and strengthen your marriage.

This step also focuses on teamwork, on making decisions and resolving problems together. This, too, can be a challenge in many marriages. I’ll state the unfortunate but obvious: Many husband-wife relationships too closely resemble parent-child or employer-employee relationships. In a strong marriage each partner treats the other as an equal.

Kerri and I work hard to reinforce this attitude. We often remind each other, “Same team.” We are together in whatever struggle we face working toward a common goal, not opponents working for toward mutually exclusive, independent goals. Of course, that statement assumes that each spouse is willing to lay aside his or her independence and freedom in order to establish a common set of goals and a common life.

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POSTED IN: Marriage Books