Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

Combining Traditions

by Kerri on October 26th, 2007

Bald Man talked a few months back about Holiday Negotiations. I wanted to go into that a bit more and ask how well your traditions and celebrations meshed when you married?

I was thinking about this because our oldest son turned 4 today, and we’ve had many discussions over the years about how to celebrate birthdays and other special occasions. I grew up in a family where there was a big deal made of birthdays, anniversaries, etc. And not just celebrating those special occasions, but celebrating them on the day they occur. Having grown up away from one of his parents for much of his childhood, Bald Man was used to saving up holidays to celebrate whenever they could be together. The day didn’t mean all that much, just as long as it was celebrated at some point.

I think you can see where this might create issues (especially for a hyper-emotional person like me) when a special day falls on the same calendar day as other obligations and responsibilities. Whereas Bald Man sometimes would rather wait to celebrate the event on a day near the occasion, I still can’t not do anything on the day of the event itself.

We’ve gotten a lot better over the years, I think, both bending a bit toward the other. Or maybe I just try and celebrate a bit on both days now. He could probably give you a more objective answer there. ;)

What about you? Were there a lot of issues in this area when you got married? How did you resolve them?

photo credit: kowitz

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POSTED IN: Communication, General