Marriage Questions: When To Have Kids?
[UPDATE] Blogtoberfest winner for this post announced. Click here to see if you won!
Heather from Marriage Diva left a comment last week, so I followed the link back over to her site. Her post yesterday has inspired my question today:
At what stage of your marriage should you have kids?
Note: I assume you are planning on having kids. Whether or not a couple ought to try and have children is another topic for another time.
I see a number of interesting dynamics at play. There are social trends toward marrying later in life and having smaller families. There are medical advances making it possible for men and women to conceive and bear children later in life. There are changing social norms regarding a wife’s “proper place” in society. Certainly there are others I’ve not mentioned. So, how does this affect a couple’s decision making process?
Kerri and I waited. We waited until we both graduated from university before getting married, and we waited for more years before we began trying to get pregnant. We have some friends who married right out of high school and have chosen to wait on children. We have other friends who started trying for kids almost immediately after the wedding ceremony.
All of this to ask: What do YOU think is the best time?
This is a Blogtoberfest Sponsored Post. If you would like to enter for a chance to win the gift behind this blog, please leave a comment. Prize and Winner will be announced within a week. Check back to see if you’re the lucky winner and what you’ve won!
POSTED IN: Questions & Answers
11 opinions for Marriage Questions: When To Have Kids?
Marriage-101
Oct 12, 2007 at 8:18 am
To me, the right time has to do with where the couple stands financially as well as mentally, that is if you don’t want to struggle raising your babies. Look at Britney Spears - financially stable, mentally not. Plus, I think a couple needs to be married, or at least be together for a few years, just to experience that “us” time. Then again, this is just my opinion.
Caryn
Oct 12, 2007 at 8:23 am
We waited until we had our careers set and had done what “we” wanted to do and for us that was to backpack across Europe for 8 months. While the travel bug is not totally out of our system, we definitely have had it satisfied for the time being. We LOVE our little boy and couldn’t be happier.
Sara
Oct 12, 2007 at 9:05 am
When you’re ready, you just know that you are! I am thankful for the couple time my husband and I had before my son was born, but as far as finances….When can we ever REALLY afford kids?ha
Richelle F
Oct 12, 2007 at 2:01 pm
We didn’t wait very long, but we were both graduated and my husband had a good job.
Gala
Oct 12, 2007 at 3:35 pm
When is the best time?
Each and every couple need to decide that for themselves. Can’t listen to the inlaws, friends and family. What works for YOU!!!
In our case…right away. However, mother nature thought otherwise. Am I glad about that? No because at the very young age of 32 I had to have a hysterectomy and now I have 2 little gems and I would love to have more. I spent 5 yrs of infertility and got the 2 we have.
I hope our little girl (or boy) will come home soon. We are just about to begin the adoption process “again”….
lace
Oct 12, 2007 at 10:05 pm
I really think the best time is when you are stable as a couple and relatively financially secure. Having kids is expensive.
Lindley Alston
Oct 12, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Getting married is a big change in life, so I think the best time to have a baby is when you are adjusted and comfortable with the change as well as financially and emotionally stable. It doesn’t always work that way, but my husband and I waited for 5 years because we wanted to do a “test run” with taking care of plants and then a dog to make sure we were reay for the responsibility.
Nicole
Oct 14, 2007 at 10:48 am
Disclaimer: I am not (yet, anyway) a parent.
I don’t think there is a best time, or at least I think it’s different for different people. I’ve met good parents who have waited for years after college and marriage, who have gotten married because there was a baby on the way, and who have gotten married and had kids while still in college. It works for them.
Jennifer
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:00 am
For the sake of the children the parents need to be financially and emotionally stable first, it is the best option
Our First Blogtoberfest Winner!
Oct 15, 2007 at 9:30 pm
[…] you may remember, Bald Man’s post from last Friday was the first of our Blogtoberfest Prize Posts. We randomly drew from the 9 commenters on the post […]
Allena
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:18 am
Our first child was an oops, which made us young parents. Just last night my husband and I were talking about how nice it is to be the youngest parents at PTA. We also get to enjoy our children in more active ways: kayaking the Thornapple River, hiking extinct volcanoes with them in Mexico.
As far as financially stable– is there a such thing? When we had our second, we were very very comfortable. Now we’re dipping again. I don’t do “financially stable”. (again with the Britney) However, being mentally stable allows us to whether financial dips without issues.
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: