Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

Fall Marriage Check-Up 2

by Bald Man on September 29th, 2007

Kerri suggested I try to put my wit to work. To that end, I provide an addendum to yesterday’s Fall Marriage Check-Up…

Headlights - Be honest… is it time for a boob job? What about a lift and tuck? Maybe some hair plugs? At least consider a little botox and a manicure. Age doesn’t do any of us favors.

Muffler - Please, can you just be quiet? Just for a minute. Can you stop nagging? Can you stop asking me “Whachya thinkin?” every five minutes or “Whereya goin’?” Everytime I get off the couch? I’m just going to pee. (This has special relevance in our household.)

Antifreeze - When’s the last time you bought flowers? Or candy? Or - god forbid! - jewelry? Have you even heard of the word “foreplay?” And no, standing in the doorway with your pants around your ankles saying “You wanna?” doesn’t count.

Brakes - Speaking of the bedroom, at this point I think I’ve obligated myself to insert the standard joke about the average man’s… umm… speed in the bedroom. ‘Nuff said.

Air Filter - Lastly, who told you a dutch oven was funny?

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