Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

Who’s your BFF?

by Kerri on September 27th, 2007

Who’s your best friend? Can’t name just one? How ’bout your 3 closest friends?

Question: Did you spouse appear in that list?

You’d think it’d be a no-brainer, considering the fact that this is the person who you spend everyday living alongside. Of course, some may say that all that togetherness is the reason they’re no longer friends! :P

Seriously, though, I’m always surprised when I hear people talk about their best friends, or for some reason mention their closest friends, and their spouse appears no where in the conversation or the list.

Bald Man and I were friends before we started dating. Okay, okay, so we were only teenagers, but I think the fact that we weren’t both immediately feeling crushes on each other was good for us. The first few months that we hung out, we were free to be ourselves (as much as teenagers allow themselves that) without the pressure of trying to impress each other. We found that we actually enjoyed being around each other, could carry on conversations with each other, and that our senses of humor would mesh. The crushes came after all that.

And, to this day, he’s still my best friend. Yes, I have other friends. A few that I know will be with me for life, one who has already been there for over half of my life. But there’s nothing like being married to your best friend, you know?

I remember a needlepoint that hung in my parents’ home for years that said, “Happiness is being married to your best friend.” And I knew that it was true for them because they were always smiling around each other, only had the most generous of attitudes to one another, and constantly had sunshine oozing out of their pores.

Riiiiggghhhttttt…….

I knew it was true because, no matter life’s stresses and challenges, no matter the annoyances of constantly living with another person, no matter how hard it must have sometimes been, they always came back together as a team. And they could always laugh together….I loved that about them.

And as Bald Man and I face challenges and stresses, both the everyday and the life-changing, we constantly remind ourselves that we are on the same team. Sometimes even verbally. And some days are easier than others, some are filled with more laughter than others, and some seem more fulfilling than others. But everyday is lived together, that’s always the goal. Because what scares me more even than ever losing my lover and partner in life is losing my best friend.

How ’bout you? Is your spouse counted among your closest friends? Do you actually enjoy the time that you spend together? When was the last time you really laughed together?

photo credit: Heroic Beer

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