Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

For Richer or Poorer

by Bald Man on September 24th, 2007

The year was 1997. A young woman and a younger man wed, and they began the task of setting up home together. The young woman was unemployed; the bookstore at which she had been working had closed a couple months before the wedding, which was alright at the time. The afore mentioned young woman had plenty of wedding details occupying her attention. The younger man (Yes, I feel entitled to enjoy all nine-and-a-half months of age difference between us, especially considering she’s still likely to outlive me.) had himself only recently graduated from university and had not yet landed that big job doing whatever it was that he might have wanted to do back then. He still had the college job.

Gross household income on Day 1 of our married life:

$6.10/hour. Tes, that’s right: $6.10/hour… $244/week… approximately thirteen grand a year… in 1997 dollars.

Though we were only in this situation for a couple months, a budget was an essential ingredient to our survival over those few months. I quickly picked up a second job… dropped the second job after falling asleep in my dinner more often then not… Kerri began a job, which led to an interview and the beginning of my own current career… then Kerri herself changed jobs, and our initial financial struggles wained. (Though in hindsight it is probably more accurate to say they changed, but that is another story for another time.)

Back to the budget: How do two people live on $244/week? Very carefully. You quickly learn to sort the essentials from the optionals. I don’t have the original spreadsheet anymore, but I think our weekly grocery budget was in the realm of $40/week. There was no room for luxuries like eating out, cable, or quilted toilet paper.

Thank goodness our cars were paid for (or being paid for) and I had locked in a very affordable apartment the year before. All too often you hear about families who successfully walk that financial tightrope until an unexpected breeze - a car repair or a medical emergency - blows them off balance. True, there are some who are simply living beyond their means, but there are many whose means just isn’t enough in today’s world.

I think about some of my coworkers from the superstore where I was making that $6.10/hr, and I can’t help but wonder how they did it? There was the couple (I think with no kids) who both worked at the store. they brought in a combined $500/week; enough, I suppose for a very simple lifestyle. There were a couple single parents who managed sub-departments. They made big money relative to most of the hourly employees… as much as $30K/year, but when you factor in the unpaid overtime they usually worked, I don’t think their hourly wage was much better than mine. Ours was but a short term situation, but my hat goes off to those who manage to make ends meet year after year on such wages. At least I suppose they have been able to make ends meet. I have not been in touch with any of them in more than a decade.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention the role I believe charitable giving played in those early days. When we married Kerri and I were fairly new Christians to use the born-again, evangelical vernacular, and giving to our church was important to us. I remember writing a check each Saturday evening for $25, and thinking, “How are we going to make ends meet? The math just doesn’t add up.”

And the math didn’t add up. Each week I’d look at the budget, expenses would exceed income, and yet there was always enough money to cover needs. It was our own experience of creatio ex nihilo… “creation out of nothing.”

Next time: More money than brains

images: castle | lolcat | xray

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POSTED IN: Marriage & Money