Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

Changing Together

by Bald Man on August 5th, 2007

A while back I shared three likely reasons early marriages might end. Our marriage is one of those early marriages, as are some of those around us, so we know of where we speak. Of the three challenges I mentioned the one we are facing is the third. We have both changed so much since we got married in our early twenties, and we are still just beginning to discover who we are… much less who the other person is.

Here’s my Duh! Declaration for the month: Growing up is hard.

Duh!

Seriously, the process of growing up and establishing your own identity is hard. And when you are married it is even harder for the simple fact that you have chosen to grow up attached to another. You have, at a time when you couldn’t really have known what was coming, made the decision to tie your future identity to your spouse. That’s hard to do and scary to boot.

The flip side of the coin is just as true. You have also chosen to love another person and trust that they will make their own decisions to grow up in such a way as to remain connected to you. That is way seriously scary… and fantastically hard to let someone do.

I understand what our parents and others cautioned us about when we were getting married so young. I also understand why some couples give up, chose to end their marriages, and grow up without the commitment to attach themselves to another. Kerri and I have been working through these sorts of changes for many months now. Our prayers and encouragement go out to all who are wrestling with the same phase of life.

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POSTED IN: Trials & Tests