Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

It’s Too Late Tonight

by Bald Man on May 30th, 2007

Kerri’s last post brought this U2 classic to my mind:

So much in this song that could be talked about here. I’ll leave the obvious lyrical connection alone, and instead ramble on about this bit here:

We’re one, but we’re not the same
We get to
carry each other
carry each other

Funny but letting this simple truth be reality in a marriage is far more difficult than it sounds. Think about it for a moment. How much time do we spend trying to change our spouses because they aren’t like us? For most, I bet it’s at least a few years. For those who marry later in life, I suspect they may come to this realization a little quicker in the marriage, if only because they are more likely to have already learned this lesson outside of marriage. For too many this truth is never accepted, and the marriage eventually dies.

But this truth is essential. A husband and a wife, though one, are not the same… and I’m not just talking about the obvious bits and pieces that were covered in health class. More than the general differences in how men and women tend to approach life (Mars vs. Venus; pink vs. blue; etc.) each specific woman and each specific man who enter into a marriage are different from one another.

Accepting that these differences are not only “OK” but an essential component to the life of a marriage can be difficult. Oh, but when it is accepted, then the true power of a marriage is unleashed. “We get to carry each other,” as the song goes. A couple who accept one another’s differences and who learn to function within those differences experience a synergy allowing them to be more than either could be on their own.

Identical pieces have identical strengths and identical weaknesses. While redundancy is great for computer networks, in marriage it is death. One partner eventually realizes that the other is unnecessary and either leaves or carries on without the other. On the other hand, a marriage in which the two who are not the same learn to carry each other explodes with untold energy and life.

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POSTED IN: Pontification