Marriage Actually - An honest look at marriage

A Marriage Under Duress

by Bald Man on May 24th, 2007

While most of what Kerri and I share here will undoubtedly be stories from our life, we will from time to time be branching beyond our own borders. We know lots of married folks. Some have been married for a couple years, some for many decades. Over time we hope to share whatever wisdom and humor we can persuade them to part with.

Another realm that we’ll enter into on occasion is the news, and that brings me to the meat of this post.

Listening to NPR this week, I’ve heard the story of Haleh Esfandiari. Haleh is an American scholar of Iranian birth, and earlier this month she was imprisoned by the Iranian government. She had been in the country since late 2006 visiting her 93-year-old mother. In late December, while on her way to the airport to return to the United States, she was stopped by masked men who threatened her and took her passport. She was unable to leave the country these several months, and finally, on May 8th, she was arrested “as part of a U.S.-backed plot to foment soft revolution in Iran.”

The connection to Marriage Actually is the interview I heard with her husband, Shaul Bakhash. He has not spoken with his wife since her imprisonment, so his only news of her condition comes via Haleh’s mother who is able to speak with Haleh for a minute or two each day.

When I think on the story, first I imagine the stress. Not to discount Haleh’s position as the one in prison, but I think also of Shaul. Husbands tend to be problem solvers; we like to be able to attempt a solution whenever we encounter a problem. Unfortunately, for Shaul, there are no direct solutions he can pursue. He can try to bring attention to his wife’s situation, so that others might work toward a solution; but beyond that there are no options for him. He must sit and wait.

I also get a sense of perspective on the trials facing my own life and marriage. The appointment at the pediatrician that neither Kerri nor I remembered until a few minutes ago and aren’t even sure is real doesn’t amount to much when you take a wide angle lens to life. It’s a two-year well-baby check up for Luke. He’s not sick. Even if he were, we have insurance… and access to medicine and doctors… and a warm home and ample food and clean water…. and neither Kerri nor I have been imprisoned by a foreign government thousands of miles from home.

I’m a praying man, and if you are a praying person, I invite you to say a few extra words tonight on behalf of Haleh Esfandiari and Shaul Bakhash, and all marriages facing trials tonight.

++ Lord, hear our prayer. ++

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POSTED IN: Marriage News, Trials & Tests